Marriage Group

You Are Invited...

If you are married or have plans or desires to be married.

If you desire your marriage to include any of the following:

  • living to please each other

  • intimacy

  • true love

  • purpose

  • unity

  • commitment

  • great sex

  • forgiveness

  • passion

  • encouragement/support

  • appreciation

  • understanding

  • surpassed expectations of when you said "I do"

 

The Need:

50% of marriages end in divorce

Every 27 seconds a couple in America divorces- totaling 7,000 divorces a day and affecting 10,000 more children each day.

Marriage break up hurts each spouse and their children as well as affecting extended family and relationships.

Why just survive when your marriage can flourish

Routine use of an auto demands maintenance every 4,000 miles, a computer needs frequent upgrades, and even a flashlight requires a recharge, yet somehow our marriages are to function through various insults and challenges with no special assessments, adjustments or attention.

 

Our Method:

To address our need we of the "Marriage Group" come together with the intention to:

-gather to learn from each other and support each other.

-facilitate an atmosphere that is open, honest, and confidential.

-participate voluntarily without obligation or intimidation, (so no one can sit back and take it in or express your feelings and concerns).

-deal with real and vital marital issues that may revive, sustain and/or prosper a relationship.

 

Our Means:

-we focus on what I can do and not on blaming another.

-use a framework based on God's truth and His time tested blueprint that is applicable to everyday life.

-not replacing counseling, we aim to provide significant truth that becomes evident to oneself and leads one toward a path of healing and beneficial change

-use multimedia resources that tap the knowledge and advice of experts in subjects related to marriage.

 

The Language of Love:

Gary Chapman in his book "The Five Love Languages" notes that in the English language the word "love" can mean
many things. To love ice cream is not the same as to love my child. Similarly, relationships involving love need to be better acknowledged if we are to affect then positively. Why do some relationships last and others don't?

Part of the answer is to recognize the depth of the relationship, adjust our expectations and know what I can do to move the relationship in a positive direction. Dr. Chapman has made these key points about love:

-Love (affection) is the most basic need for the maintenance of emotional stability.

-Love is characterized by the sense of being needed (wanted) and belonging.

-Inside every person is an emotional "love tank". If we don't  feel loved our "tank" is empty.

-If we appreciate love expressed to us our "tank" may be full.

-The need to feel loved is at the heart of the marital desire.

Nearly every love relationship begins with an "in love" experience or at least there is a history of an "in love" experience from
which we have learned.

The "in love" experience could be described as emotional infatuation and is not sustainable in spite of how over whelming or convincing it might feel. True love described in the Bible's original Greek language as "agape". Love is rational, involves commitment, lasts through good times and bad, and yields deep joy.

"In Love"

Lasting Love
happens is a choice voluntary
instinct takes effort
euphoric can be gratifying/joyful
blind to flaws addresses conflict
dependent on feelings rational plus emotional
temporary (2 years?) lasting
emotionally obsessed recognizes egocentric/selfish behavior



Further Dr. Chapman notes that studies even across numerous cultures has revealed that there are five categories by
which love is expressed. Different people have different love languages and frequently spouses have different love languages.

If my spouse is trying to express or communicate his/her love for me (most likely in his/her love language) but I do not perceive that expression of love because it is not in my love language, then to me I am not loved and my "love tank" moves toward empty.

However if we understand our love languages then we can communicate our love to each other and at the same time also recognize how we in overtly communicate the lack of love or consideration.

Any questions?  Call Don or Lisa at: (970) 580-0368